Still. I don't think you've played with him before. I guess it's nice for him to have someone else.
[Really, it's just nice. Seeing them together. Noé can't help smiling at the sight, as he watches and Murr leaps after the toy, claws out as he tries to catch it again. He might bat it into Vanitas's face in the process, making Noé chuckle a little as he kicks his feet behind him to get more comfortable. It's the little moments like this that tend to stand out more, at least in terms of the better memories Noé has. Simple, pleasant moments of quiet enjoyment and amusement.]
Hmm, I suppose so. Maybe it's because he gets just as fussy with you as I do.
[ Vanitas says that with a tinge of annoyance, but that is noncommittal, because they both know that Vanitas does, indeed, care about Noé by now. Despite how the vampire can drive him up the wall, the doctor isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Not after everything.
Luna once told him and Mikhail to pick something to keep with them that would bring them comfort. When he remembered that for the first time recently, Vanitas' immediate thought was to go to Noé while he was asleep. Vanitas will never admit it, but he, too, is learning to appreciate the simpler pleasures between the two of them. The dramatics are hard to forget, but it's the quieter moments that remind him of why he's decided to stick with Noé after all this time.
Comfort is what gets his expression to even out into something very serene. Relaxed. He's actually smiling when he looks at Murr, too, and even gives him some gentle pets across his body. Only Noé will get to see glimpses of this - of a man who is truly at ease - because only Noé has gotten him to feel safe. ]
[He raises an eyebrow, but really, his expression doesn't really change. He still watches fondly, amused as Vanitas smiles and pets Murr. This was nice. Nobody was in immediate danger. They were just spending time together with Murr. He's not necessarily reading anything more into it than Vanitas was probably bored and decided to join in and play. He doesn't consider in the moment how rare this is. To see Vanitas so unguarded. How the other always seems to be so careful, so cautious, and manipulative to most everyone else. Because of how he had helped Vanitas feel comfortable enough to drop those walls. That he himself had anything to do with it.]
[ He continues to entertain Murr, but as time passes, Vanitas starts looking more thoughtful. He seems to be considering something. His mouth opens slightly, like he wants to say something but nothing comes out. There's a little grunt of frustration that follows. When he tries again, though, that's when he's able to speak: ]
Noé. I'm...sorry I dragged you into this mess. [ An apology?? It'd be the second genuine one he's ever given to Noé, or given out period. ] I'm giving it some thought; we don't need to keep up the farce. I didn't thoroughly consider every angle that I could have taken on my own.
[ He pauses. ]
...It's not so bad on my end, though. [ He says as his cheeks start turning pink again. Ooh, he regrets saying anything now- ] I don't. Mind it.
[Sure. He might get distracted and lost occasionally (....a lot), but still. That protest and instinctive pout fade as the other apologizes. The vampire frowns in confusion, listening as the other says they don't have to keep pretending to be together. He shifts, sitting up slightly more, focusing on Vanitas rather than Murr, who continues to bat at the toys.]
Oh? But what about the journalist? I thought you were trying to avoid her interest?
[That had been the whole reason for this. Right? So, how else would Vanitas handle it? Tell her the truth? He probably could have done that to start with, but maybe she hadn't really been listening?
Still. Vanitas says that he doesn't mind it. Being together? He's not sure what to make of that. Vanitas had been okay with it? Liked it? They had just been pretending. Vanitas had told him not to overthink it. And yet....he sort of has to consider it more seriously now. Doesn't he?]
Of course I'm trying to avoid her. She's an annoying pest, and I'd much rather have her be somewhere far, far away.
[ But she keeps watching. She keeps observing them, and knowing that Noé is now even more a subject of interest to her is what makes him feel uneasy about it all. The false relationship is one thing, but he wouldn't be willing to keep it up if it was unbearable; knowing that Noé is now further into the spotlight, however, is something he won't stand for, especially if something were to happen to him.
Vanitas knows it'd be his fault. Maybe that's why it feels so awful.
He grunts at all of Noé's questions, though. How does he answer any of this? ]
All I'm saying is if you're already sick of it, I'll find some other way to get her off of my tail. I'd rather not see her bother you anymore than she already has. [ ... ] Otherwise, I said I don't mind, didn't I? [ Hmph. Grumpy as ever. ] It's- it's bearable. You're - the most tolerable candidate for the job, after all.
[ Which is Vanitas' way of saying he trusts Noé and would not have asked anyone else to do this for him. Not even Jeanne.
But he's said too much. ]
Ugh, whatever. It's your call. I don't care either way.
[Unfortunately for Vanitas, the vampire knows him too well at this point. To be able to tell when the other is trying to brush something off. Make it seem like it isn't a big deal. That he doesn't actually care as much. And yet. His actions did say otherwise, sometimes. So, the vampire can read him better. At least, better than he could when they first met.
He considers for a moment, his gaze shifting from Murr playing to the other.]
I'm not. I mean. If I were sick of you, I'd have left by now. I said you're stuck with me, didn't I? I didn't....I didn't hate it, either. I just wasn't sure...I mean. You said it was pretending, not to overthink it. I haven't really done any of this before, but...if it's you, I don't mind.
[Vanitas is well aware of how new to any relationship the vampire would be. It would be a case of him learning as he went. But really, in some ways, they wouldn't really need to change much, if anything, about how they would interact together.]
[ Ah, he gets what Noé's putting down. Vanitas stares at him for a long while, fight or flight instincts kicking in, because the thought of a relationship is scary enough. Somehow, Noé being in the equation makes it that much more frightening.
But it's not because Vanitas doesn't trust Noé. It's not because he wants to reject him on the basis that he doesn't and could never have feelings for the vampire. It's because he knows that his comrade could do so much better than him, which is exactly what he said when he realized he had feelings for Jeanne. How could someone like him have any sort of interest in Vanitas?
And yet, his heart is starting to race in his chest. He hadn't considered... ]
I. I did say that, yes. [ And look at how that turned out, eh? ] I mean- I... The idea that you wouldn't mind...is something I can't wrap my head around.
[ Forgive him, he's a bit of a mess, but his tone isn't angry or upset. Just very, very surprised and very, very red in the face. ]
Is it that surprising? I've stuck with you so far.
[Sure. The vampire may be rather sheltered. Rather dense and oblivious at times. He may still be figuring out what love is in a romantic sense. But all the same. That doesn't change that he clearly cares about Vanitas. That he has gotten more comfortable around the other. He knows the other cares about him. Given that he allowed the vampire to continue staying with him. That he did things like making tarte tatin. That he afforded some small moments where he was less on guard around him.
The idea of something more than friendship, partnership, as they worked together. That might take time to adjust to in some ways. But he figures they could both support and learn together, from each other. At the least, he does not assume this to mean that Vanitas would approve of helping him feed. But really, he hadn't really met all that many people, given his more sheltered upbringing, to have met anyone prior to Vanitas that he felt such a way for. He doesn't consider that there might be other options. Which is not to say he didn't adore Dominique, but that was more akin to friendship, a sibling sort of affection and protectiveness for each other. He's not necessarily sure what might exactly interest Vanitas about him, but if it were mutual, they could figure it out together.]
[ Noé once again manages to stun Vanitas into silence. Amazing? Him? The guy who held Noé at knifepoint and tried to kill him? There's a reason why Vanitas protects his memories other than it being Luna's request. He can't let people see who he is. He refuses, he would never - except Noé has an idea of it, doesn't he? He's seen many glimpses of the real Vanitas; this moment right now is one of them, actually.
Vanitas pushes himself onto his feet, but only so he can walk over to Noé. He gets seated again, right next to him, and for a moment it seems like he's going to lean his back against the vampire's with how he's angled. Instead, Vanitas angles himself so he's facing Noé, but he looks away, like he's unsure of exactly what he wants to do, here. ]
I'm amazing...? ... Don't be silly, Noé.
[ Vanitas leans forward, and his head carefully, tentatively gets placed on Noé's shoulder.
[He can't help but blink at that, taken aback. He's just some sheltered, bumbling country bumpkin. He has no idea about relationships. And he is well aware that he has some issues relating to his past, about what had happened to Louis. But, he supposes, everyone had some pain, some issues and insecurities, some regrets. He's not any different in that regard. But he also likely had never really considered himself as having much, if any, potential in regards to a relationship.
Vanitas, though? He was amazing. He was so strong to have come through all he had endured. Sure, the vampire had seen something of a darker side in him, but it wasn't like he was much different. He could become angry and defensive at times. But he also showed such kindness and thoughtfulness. Making Noé his favourite dessert. Making sure that Noé didn't wander off too far when he would get distracted and excited about something or other. He helped so many vampires with his abilities, with his book. No matter what the risk was to himself.]
[ He grumbles it as his head rests on Noé's shoulder. His arms fold over his chest. He may not look enthusiastic about this, but Noé knows him well enough. This is a sign of comfort, and if the vampire had told him any of that, of his true thoughts on Vanitas, he'd likely try to brush them off. The fact that anyone could think so highly of him despite everything is unfathomable, after all.
He doesn't say anything else, though. He'll just continue to lean on Noé - though when Murr comes up to him demanding more playtime, he'll grab onto the toy and start waving it around again. ]
[But then. That could be said for both of them. Neither of them is necessarily an expert with this sort of thing. But they could work it out. Fumble their way about it together, he supposes. The vampire is well aware he should probably keep quiet, at least for now, about really saying how he feels about Vanitas. That the other would likely instinctively protest. But maybe another time. Once they were less in the feeling things out together stage. He tilts his head, smiling as he watches Vanitas playing with Murr. He just remains still, as Vanitas rests against him.]
[ There's a lot Vanitas could say to Noé. He could explain why he thinks the vampire is amazing, but instead, he's choosing to bite his tongue on that. It's a little embarrassing for him to admit, but Vanitas' genuine side comes out more in his actions than his words.
He looks for Noé's hand, and when he finds it, he takes it in his, just like he did when he was pretending. This time isn't a joke, though. It's real. ]
You can consider it all you'd like, because I'm not spelling it out for you.
[Still. Even if they bickered like an old married couple, they knew it was never that serious. Except for that one time. With the knife. But that was an exception, given how desperate Vanitas had been at the time and all. The vampire doesn't hold it against him. His hands are bare of his gloves when Vanitas reaches for him, his fingers easily interlacing with the doctor's.
He knows that this is different. This time, it isn't just Vanitas taking his hand to make sure he doesn't get lost. Or because he is pretending they were together. This was real. Genuine. There's nobody else here to pretend for. It's just the two of them. Well, and Murr, but he was far too busy batting at the toys to pay that much attention to whatever his owner and the doctor were doing.]
[ He scoffs at Noé, but in that old married couple sort of way. He rolls his eyes but his grip on the vampire's hand is nice and tight nevertheless. Vanitas is perfectly content to hold Noé's hand, though his gloves are still on. He wonders if he should remove them, but that would mean breaking away, and he doesn't really want to do that just yet. He stays like that, idly watching Murr, but he's far too comfortable to move.
It's a testament to how far that comfort goes, however, when he ends up dozing off on Noé. Eventually, he's asleep, taking a nap on the vampire but still keeping their fingers laced together. He'll wake up if Noé shakes him or something. Otherwise, he's sleeping like a rock. ]
[He's used to that sort of reaction from the other. The scoffing or teasing. It's fine. Still, he is a little surprised when it seems that Vanitas has actually fallen asleep against him like this. He's not sure if he should try to shift and carry him to bed. That might wake him. And Noé is fine where he is for the time being. So maybe he should just let Vanitas rest. He's clearly tired if he is dozing off like this. So he just tries to stay still for a bit, using his other hand to play with Murr with one of the toys.
This was nice. Calm. It's rare that he feels like this. This...content? There's a certain sort of soft pleasure at the moment. Just sitting here with Vanitas dozing against him, hand in hand. Eventually, depending on how long Vanitas snoozes for, he might try to carefully shift, slowly, gradually, trying not to wake him, and try to see about carrying him to bed so he's more comfortable.]
[ Vanitas is, indeed, asleep for quite a while. Not even Murr's grumpy meows can wake him, because this is quite possibly the most Noé has ever seen him rest. Vanitas is normally awake before he is, after all, but right now, he's never looked so calm. Noé shifts slowly, and Vanitas doesn't react, not even as the vampire lifts him up to carry him to bed. Not even if Noé has to let go of his hand to do so.
However, whenever Noé lets him down, the vampire may be surprised by a sudden tug at his sleeve. Whether Vanitas just woke up or has been awake for some time is anyone's guess, but he's very groggy nevertheless. ]
[....Oh. He's awake? And Noé had been so careful, trying not to disturb him. Still, after a brief look of surprise, he takes a breath. Murr seems occupied enough playing with the toys for now.]
Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up. I just figured that you'd be more comfortable in bed. Want me to get you another blanket?
[Because the vampire isn't necessarily reading into it. Fetching another blanket is an obvious solution. He doesn't want Vanitas to be uncomfortable, to get sick. Which seems far more often a concern with mortals. He's not considering that the other might mean for Noé to lay down with him.]
[ His reply is instant, still tired but his expression is more firm. Why did he think Noé would understand what he's implying? Vanitas is realizing that he's going to have to be a lot more forward with him now, even if he doesn't really want to be forthright with his needs. He's just as inexperienced in relationships as Noé is, even if this one is unofficially established, but he's a little better at picking up on cues. He'll have to adjust for someone who isn't quite there yet.
Vanitas sighs, disgruntled, but he moves that hand on his sleeve to Noé's hand and tugs downwards - not hard enough to drag him, but enough to accentuate his point. He'll even move towards the wall to make space. ]
[Oh. Oh, that's what Vanitas meant? It isn't like Noé hasn't shared a bed before. He grew up with Domi and Louis, after all. Still. He somehow hadn't anticipated this. But he doesn't resist. Doesn't protest or anything when he feels that tug, and finally seems to understand what Vanitas wants from him. He's just inexperienced. Still more used to the more platonic sorts of affection. But he does nod, shifting to climb into bed with Vanitas as the other moves to give him some space. He tries not to encroach too much on Vanitas's space, though there isn't a lot of room on the bed. Both beds were smaller, meant for one person, given that they hadn't anticipated getting to this point. That they would want to share together. Noé tries not to be too stiff, too awkward as he shifts to get comfortable.]
[ That's better, but Noé is still quite far away. Vanitas gets the impression that he's trying not to impede on his personal space which, to be fair, is something Vanitas obviously values a lot. It's something he's willing to sacrifice when he's putting on that ridiculous know-it-all farce of his, but deep down, he's only comfortable with letting people in it when he trusts them. It's why he's started to give Noé little touches recently, why he'd been okay with leaning on him even before any of this happened.
This is different. They've become aware that there's mutual attraction between them. Context matters. Even so, Vanitas pushes himself to scoot in towards Noé. He's not quite touching him other than their knees bumping together, but he's close enough to feel how warm his partner is. ]
It's fine. [ ... ] You don't have to worry so much, Noé. It's not like we haven't been close before.
Mm. I know. I've shared a bed with Domi and Louis when we were kids. It's just....this is...this is different.
[It's Vanitas. He's not a young child any longer. Nothing necessarily was going to happen. Vanitas just might want company as he falls back to sleep. Noé isn't lying there anticipating anything more than that. He shifts when Vanitas reassures him. When the other scootches closer, lying on his side. One of his arms rests at Vanitas's waist, loose but inviting the other closer if he wanted more warmth. His other arm shifts, and his hand rests under his side of the pillow as he faces the other.]
[ "This is different." Vanitas understands. It certainly is, and the part of him that wants to run from something this good is nagging at him. He's only ever wanted to flee from love, to turn away from anything good because he'd been so comfortable with misery, with chaining himself to his circumstances. His choices and mistakes were his to own, and the thought of sharing those with someone else who could exploit those things, use them against him, remind him of how awful and undeserving he is - he's afraid of that more than anything.
That's why, he supposes, he's choosing to be with Noé. Jeanne would have made a fine partner if she ever felt the same, but no one understands Vanitas like Noé Archiviste does. He's the only one that's managed to silence those voices in Vanitas' head that are screaming at him to reject every good thing that comes his way. That hand on his waist is all the vampire needs to do, even if Vanitas freezes at the sensation.
Before the other man can pull away, though, Vanitas is quick to move in and tuck his head under Noé's chin. He's a walking contradiction in so many ways, afraid of love but wanting to cling to it when he feels like he can finally, finally have it. ]
[It's not necessarily bad. Not different in a bad way. Just....different. It's new. To both of them. But they'd figure it out. They had endured this much together and still hadn't gone their separate ways. Still, it hadn't been enough to push Noé to leave. Maybe it had started as curiosity about the book, about his Teacher's instructions to find the book and discover more. But it was different now. He'd spent time with Vanitas. Gotten to know him. Come to care for him.
He wonders for a second if it was too much. If he was too close when he felt Vanitas tense at having Noé's arm at his waist. He's about to withdraw, to pull back, when Vanitas curls up closer against him. There's a sigh and a small smile even if the other can't see it.]
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[Really, it's just nice. Seeing them together. Noé can't help smiling at the sight, as he watches and Murr leaps after the toy, claws out as he tries to catch it again. He might bat it into Vanitas's face in the process, making Noé chuckle a little as he kicks his feet behind him to get more comfortable. It's the little moments like this that tend to stand out more, at least in terms of the better memories Noé has. Simple, pleasant moments of quiet enjoyment and amusement.]
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[ Vanitas says that with a tinge of annoyance, but that is noncommittal, because they both know that Vanitas does, indeed, care about Noé by now. Despite how the vampire can drive him up the wall, the doctor isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Not after everything.
Luna once told him and Mikhail to pick something to keep with them that would bring them comfort. When he remembered that for the first time recently, Vanitas' immediate thought was to go to Noé while he was asleep. Vanitas will never admit it, but he, too, is learning to appreciate the simpler pleasures between the two of them. The dramatics are hard to forget, but it's the quieter moments that remind him of why he's decided to stick with Noé after all this time.
Comfort is what gets his expression to even out into something very serene. Relaxed. He's actually smiling when he looks at Murr, too, and even gives him some gentle pets across his body. Only Noé will get to see glimpses of this - of a man who is truly at ease - because only Noé has gotten him to feel safe. ]
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[He raises an eyebrow, but really, his expression doesn't really change. He still watches fondly, amused as Vanitas smiles and pets Murr. This was nice. Nobody was in immediate danger. They were just spending time together with Murr. He's not necessarily reading anything more into it than Vanitas was probably bored and decided to join in and play. He doesn't consider in the moment how rare this is. To see Vanitas so unguarded. How the other always seems to be so careful, so cautious, and manipulative to most everyone else. Because of how he had helped Vanitas feel comfortable enough to drop those walls. That he himself had anything to do with it.]
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[ He continues to entertain Murr, but as time passes, Vanitas starts looking more thoughtful. He seems to be considering something. His mouth opens slightly, like he wants to say something but nothing comes out. There's a little grunt of frustration that follows. When he tries again, though, that's when he's able to speak: ]
Noé. I'm...sorry I dragged you into this mess. [ An apology?? It'd be the second genuine one he's ever given to Noé, or given out period. ] I'm giving it some thought; we don't need to keep up the farce. I didn't thoroughly consider every angle that I could have taken on my own.
[ He pauses. ]
...It's not so bad on my end, though. [ He says as his cheeks start turning pink again. Ooh, he regrets saying anything now- ] I don't. Mind it.
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[Sure. He might get distracted and lost occasionally (....a lot), but still. That protest and instinctive pout fade as the other apologizes. The vampire frowns in confusion, listening as the other says they don't have to keep pretending to be together. He shifts, sitting up slightly more, focusing on Vanitas rather than Murr, who continues to bat at the toys.]
Oh? But what about the journalist? I thought you were trying to avoid her interest?
[That had been the whole reason for this. Right? So, how else would Vanitas handle it? Tell her the truth? He probably could have done that to start with, but maybe she hadn't really been listening?
Still. Vanitas says that he doesn't mind it. Being together? He's not sure what to make of that. Vanitas had been okay with it? Liked it? They had just been pretending. Vanitas had told him not to overthink it. And yet....he sort of has to consider it more seriously now. Doesn't he?]
You don't mind?
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[ But she keeps watching. She keeps observing them, and knowing that Noé is now even more a subject of interest to her is what makes him feel uneasy about it all. The false relationship is one thing, but he wouldn't be willing to keep it up if it was unbearable; knowing that Noé is now further into the spotlight, however, is something he won't stand for, especially if something were to happen to him.
Vanitas knows it'd be his fault. Maybe that's why it feels so awful.
He grunts at all of Noé's questions, though. How does he answer any of this? ]
All I'm saying is if you're already sick of it, I'll find some other way to get her off of my tail. I'd rather not see her bother you anymore than she already has. [ ... ] Otherwise, I said I don't mind, didn't I? [ Hmph. Grumpy as ever. ] It's- it's bearable. You're - the most tolerable candidate for the job, after all.
[ Which is Vanitas' way of saying he trusts Noé and would not have asked anyone else to do this for him. Not even Jeanne.
But he's said too much. ]
Ugh, whatever. It's your call. I don't care either way.
[ He does. He so does. ]
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He considers for a moment, his gaze shifting from Murr playing to the other.]
I'm not. I mean. If I were sick of you, I'd have left by now. I said you're stuck with me, didn't I? I didn't....I didn't hate it, either. I just wasn't sure...I mean. You said it was pretending, not to overthink it. I haven't really done any of this before, but...if it's you, I don't mind.
[Vanitas is well aware of how new to any relationship the vampire would be. It would be a case of him learning as he went. But really, in some ways, they wouldn't really need to change much, if anything, about how they would interact together.]
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[ Ah, he gets what Noé's putting down. Vanitas stares at him for a long while, fight or flight instincts kicking in, because the thought of a relationship is scary enough. Somehow, Noé being in the equation makes it that much more frightening.
But it's not because Vanitas doesn't trust Noé. It's not because he wants to reject him on the basis that he doesn't and could never have feelings for the vampire. It's because he knows that his comrade could do so much better than him, which is exactly what he said when he realized he had feelings for Jeanne. How could someone like him have any sort of interest in Vanitas?
And yet, his heart is starting to race in his chest. He hadn't considered... ]
I. I did say that, yes. [ And look at how that turned out, eh? ] I mean- I... The idea that you wouldn't mind...is something I can't wrap my head around.
[ Forgive him, he's a bit of a mess, but his tone isn't angry or upset. Just very, very surprised and very, very red in the face. ]
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[Sure. The vampire may be rather sheltered. Rather dense and oblivious at times. He may still be figuring out what love is in a romantic sense. But all the same. That doesn't change that he clearly cares about Vanitas. That he has gotten more comfortable around the other. He knows the other cares about him. Given that he allowed the vampire to continue staying with him. That he did things like making tarte tatin. That he afforded some small moments where he was less on guard around him.
The idea of something more than friendship, partnership, as they worked together. That might take time to adjust to in some ways. But he figures they could both support and learn together, from each other. At the least, he does not assume this to mean that Vanitas would approve of helping him feed. But really, he hadn't really met all that many people, given his more sheltered upbringing, to have met anyone prior to Vanitas that he felt such a way for. He doesn't consider that there might be other options. Which is not to say he didn't adore Dominique, but that was more akin to friendship, a sibling sort of affection and protectiveness for each other. He's not necessarily sure what might exactly interest Vanitas about him, but if it were mutual, they could figure it out together.]
You're amazing, Vanitas.
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Vanitas pushes himself onto his feet, but only so he can walk over to Noé. He gets seated again, right next to him, and for a moment it seems like he's going to lean his back against the vampire's with how he's angled. Instead, Vanitas angles himself so he's facing Noé, but he looks away, like he's unsure of exactly what he wants to do, here. ]
I'm amazing...? ... Don't be silly, Noé.
[ Vanitas leans forward, and his head carefully, tentatively gets placed on Noé's shoulder.
Quietly: ]
That's you.
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[He can't help but blink at that, taken aback. He's just some sheltered, bumbling country bumpkin. He has no idea about relationships. And he is well aware that he has some issues relating to his past, about what had happened to Louis. But, he supposes, everyone had some pain, some issues and insecurities, some regrets. He's not any different in that regard. But he also likely had never really considered himself as having much, if any, potential in regards to a relationship.
Vanitas, though? He was amazing. He was so strong to have come through all he had endured. Sure, the vampire had seen something of a darker side in him, but it wasn't like he was much different. He could become angry and defensive at times. But he also showed such kindness and thoughtfulness. Making Noé his favourite dessert. Making sure that Noé didn't wander off too far when he would get distracted and excited about something or other. He helped so many vampires with his abilities, with his book. No matter what the risk was to himself.]
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[ He grumbles it as his head rests on Noé's shoulder. His arms fold over his chest. He may not look enthusiastic about this, but Noé knows him well enough. This is a sign of comfort, and if the vampire had told him any of that, of his true thoughts on Vanitas, he'd likely try to brush them off. The fact that anyone could think so highly of him despite everything is unfathomable, after all.
He doesn't say anything else, though. He'll just continue to lean on Noé - though when Murr comes up to him demanding more playtime, he'll grab onto the toy and start waving it around again. ]
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[But then. That could be said for both of them. Neither of them is necessarily an expert with this sort of thing. But they could work it out. Fumble their way about it together, he supposes. The vampire is well aware he should probably keep quiet, at least for now, about really saying how he feels about Vanitas. That the other would likely instinctively protest. But maybe another time. Once they were less in the feeling things out together stage. He tilts his head, smiling as he watches Vanitas playing with Murr. He just remains still, as Vanitas rests against him.]
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He looks for Noé's hand, and when he finds it, he takes it in his, just like he did when he was pretending. This time isn't a joke, though. It's real. ]
You can consider it all you'd like, because I'm not spelling it out for you.
[ He's shy....but he's also smiling. ]
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[Still. Even if they bickered like an old married couple, they knew it was never that serious. Except for that one time. With the knife. But that was an exception, given how desperate Vanitas had been at the time and all. The vampire doesn't hold it against him. His hands are bare of his gloves when Vanitas reaches for him, his fingers easily interlacing with the doctor's.
He knows that this is different. This time, it isn't just Vanitas taking his hand to make sure he doesn't get lost. Or because he is pretending they were together. This was real. Genuine. There's nobody else here to pretend for. It's just the two of them. Well, and Murr, but he was far too busy batting at the toys to pay that much attention to whatever his owner and the doctor were doing.]
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[ He scoffs at Noé, but in that old married couple sort of way. He rolls his eyes but his grip on the vampire's hand is nice and tight nevertheless. Vanitas is perfectly content to hold Noé's hand, though his gloves are still on. He wonders if he should remove them, but that would mean breaking away, and he doesn't really want to do that just yet. He stays like that, idly watching Murr, but he's far too comfortable to move.
It's a testament to how far that comfort goes, however, when he ends up dozing off on Noé. Eventually, he's asleep, taking a nap on the vampire but still keeping their fingers laced together. He'll wake up if Noé shakes him or something. Otherwise, he's sleeping like a rock. ]
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This was nice. Calm. It's rare that he feels like this. This...content? There's a certain sort of soft pleasure at the moment. Just sitting here with Vanitas dozing against him, hand in hand. Eventually, depending on how long Vanitas snoozes for, he might try to carefully shift, slowly, gradually, trying not to wake him, and try to see about carrying him to bed so he's more comfortable.]
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However, whenever Noé lets him down, the vampire may be surprised by a sudden tug at his sleeve. Whether Vanitas just woke up or has been awake for some time is anyone's guess, but he's very groggy nevertheless. ]
...
[ He tiredly looks up at Noé before he speaks. ]
's cold.
[ And that warmth was kind of nice, actually. ]
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Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up. I just figured that you'd be more comfortable in bed. Want me to get you another blanket?
[Because the vampire isn't necessarily reading into it. Fetching another blanket is an obvious solution. He doesn't want Vanitas to be uncomfortable, to get sick. Which seems far more often a concern with mortals. He's not considering that the other might mean for Noé to lay down with him.]
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[ His reply is instant, still tired but his expression is more firm. Why did he think Noé would understand what he's implying? Vanitas is realizing that he's going to have to be a lot more forward with him now, even if he doesn't really want to be forthright with his needs. He's just as inexperienced in relationships as Noé is, even if this one is unofficially established, but he's a little better at picking up on cues. He'll have to adjust for someone who isn't quite there yet.
Vanitas sighs, disgruntled, but he moves that hand on his sleeve to Noé's hand and tugs downwards - not hard enough to drag him, but enough to accentuate his point. He'll even move towards the wall to make space. ]
Just come here already, will you?
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[Oh. Oh, that's what Vanitas meant? It isn't like Noé hasn't shared a bed before. He grew up with Domi and Louis, after all. Still. He somehow hadn't anticipated this. But he doesn't resist. Doesn't protest or anything when he feels that tug, and finally seems to understand what Vanitas wants from him. He's just inexperienced. Still more used to the more platonic sorts of affection. But he does nod, shifting to climb into bed with Vanitas as the other moves to give him some space. He tries not to encroach too much on Vanitas's space, though there isn't a lot of room on the bed. Both beds were smaller, meant for one person, given that they hadn't anticipated getting to this point. That they would want to share together. Noé tries not to be too stiff, too awkward as he shifts to get comfortable.]
Is this okay?
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This is different. They've become aware that there's mutual attraction between them. Context matters. Even so, Vanitas pushes himself to scoot in towards Noé. He's not quite touching him other than their knees bumping together, but he's close enough to feel how warm his partner is. ]
It's fine. [ ... ] You don't have to worry so much, Noé. It's not like we haven't been close before.
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[It's Vanitas. He's not a young child any longer. Nothing necessarily was going to happen. Vanitas just might want company as he falls back to sleep. Noé isn't lying there anticipating anything more than that. He shifts when Vanitas reassures him. When the other scootches closer, lying on his side. One of his arms rests at Vanitas's waist, loose but inviting the other closer if he wanted more warmth. His other arm shifts, and his hand rests under his side of the pillow as he faces the other.]
You're warmer now?
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That's why, he supposes, he's choosing to be with Noé. Jeanne would have made a fine partner if she ever felt the same, but no one understands Vanitas like Noé Archiviste does. He's the only one that's managed to silence those voices in Vanitas' head that are screaming at him to reject every good thing that comes his way. That hand on his waist is all the vampire needs to do, even if Vanitas freezes at the sensation.
Before the other man can pull away, though, Vanitas is quick to move in and tuck his head under Noé's chin. He's a walking contradiction in so many ways, afraid of love but wanting to cling to it when he feels like he can finally, finally have it. ]
I am, so stay here. Don't go anywhere. ... Okay?
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He wonders for a second if it was too much. If he was too close when he felt Vanitas tense at having Noé's arm at his waist. He's about to withdraw, to pull back, when Vanitas curls up closer against him. There's a sigh and a small smile even if the other can't see it.]
Okay. I'll stay.
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plot twist...
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this tag got lost in my inbox?!
rude inbox???
for real...
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omg i replied to an old tag i forgot to delete OOPS
Derp happens to the best of us. It's fine lol.
<3 !
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