Why would I do this if I didn't like it? This is fine.
[At least. To him. If Vanitas was having second thoughts, that was okay, too. But he was also the one to invite Noé in this instance. So he's just figuring to be sure if it was okay. What the boundaries might be. What they might be comfortable with or not. He glances back at his bed before turning back around.]
[ He curls into Noé a little more before he lifts an arm and drapes it over the other man. Vanitas tugs him closer before he shuts his eyes, wanting to feel closer, not just for Noé's warmth but for his company. His presence calms him and sets a good precedence to take a nice, comfortable nap.
[Noé allows the other to pull him closer. Shifting as he gets comfortable, legs entwining with Vanitas' and wrapping one arm around the other's waist. It doesn't take long before he falls asleep. Lulled by the warmth of Vanitas and the steady, even sounds of his breathing, once the other dozes off. As he sleeps, he shifts, ending up face to face with Vanitas, all but kissing him. At least, Murr stays put on the other bed, letting them rest.]
[ Vanitas, likewise, is content to sleep soundly. He's been sleeping well lately, ever since sharing beds with Noé - a testament to how calm the other makes him feel. He latches onto the vampire in his sleep, almost like some part of him is afraid that Noé won't be there when he wakes up.
Sure enough, though, they're both still next to each other when he inevitably starts to open his eyes again...and he's welcomed with the sight of Noé's face right next to his. They're inches away and it would be so, so easy to steal a kiss right now, but that doesn't feel right. The urge to kiss Noé, period, however, starts to nag at Vanitas; as a result, he simply just leans forward to bump his forehead against Noé's instead. Now they're even closer. Welp.
He shuts his eyes and his cheeks turn a deep shade of red. ]
[The vampire sleeps, not immediately waking up even from the other shifting closer. It's a few moments later that he stirs, shifting as he wakes, pouting as he wakes and barely opens his eyes. He takes a moment to process that the other is so close. He blinks, his eyes widening for a brief second as he feels the heat of his cheeks, his nose. But he doesn't move. Just tries to stay still. The other's eyes at at least initially closed, so he isn't sure if Vanitas is awake yet. He might have just shifted in his sleep or something. So he tries to remain quiet and still, initially uncertain of what exactly to do.]
[ He can feel Noé shift ever so slightly. He's becoming more in tune with the other that he hesitantly opens his eyes and - oh. That's Noé staring weight back at him, and Vanitas is a bit at a loss. He's so red. ]
...
[ He looks away. ]
W-what? I woke up and you - you were right here, just like this.
[He should? Right? He doesn't mean to be that close? To make it awkward? The vampire swallows, trying to just stay still, even as Vanitas is evidently awake. Because he isn't sure how okay the other is with this. Even if they might be okay about dozing off to sleep next to each other. It's kind of another thing to wake up like this? Isn't it? He isn't sure. He doesn't mean for this to be anything more. Wants to be sure that the other is comfortable with whatever happens between them.]
[ Yes, you should says the egotistic part of Vanitas that doesn't want to give into his urges, because that'd mean that he'd have to say what he wants. ... That doesn't sound so bad either, though. The only thing holding him back is his own cowardice. ]
I...
[ For once, he doesn't know what to say. It takes him a moment to figure it out. ]
...No. Y-you can - stay there.
[ Ah. What a mess. He's still too nervous to say what he really wants, so he decides to settle on something somewhere in between. Vanitas recalls how this made him feel before, and his desire to make Noé happy creeps up on him, so he leans in and presses an unusually soft kiss to Noé's cheek. You'd think he'd be a lot more forward, given his everything, but this time, it's different. ]
[He's just about to shift when the other says he can stay. So he remains still, blinking when the other presses a kiss to his cheek. Just kind of taking a moment to process what just happened, his purple eyes widening and his cheeks darkening with a pinker hue amid his darker skin. It isn't like he is always so cautious, so tentative. But he just doesn't want to make a mess of things. Not with Vanitas. By accidentally taking anything too far. Overstepping. Vanitas just always seemed so....private. And he didn't want to overstep any boundaries. No matter if they were tentatively figuring out something more between them.]
I ca -- ah?
[He's been less sure on kissing. Mostly because of the fangs. He didn't want to accidentally nick Vanitas and unintentionally end up seeing the other's memories. Vanitas had been very clear on his being against that. And he wants to respect that.]
[ Vanitas is prone to being dramatic, to overreacting when it comes to romance. He's so insecure and unsure of himself during quiet moments like these that he reads Noé's reaction as - actually, he doesn't know how to read it at all, and that's probably what's scaring him the most.
So, in typical Vanitas fashion, he panics. Just as he did in front of Roland and Olivier. ]
F-forget I did that! If you hated it, just forget it!
[ Always jumping to conclusions, Monsieur Vanitas. Always trying to protect himself and pick up the pieces of his fragile ego when it breaks. ]
Eh? N-no, it's okay. I just. Um. I wasn't sure....about kissing? I mean. I didn't want to hurt you.
[With his fangs. Not that he would intentionally. But he didn't want something to happen by accident, either. He's had plenty of experience with feeding. But that was different. He didn't worry so much when Domi let him feed from her arm, for example. But Vanitas was mortal. And he had been very clear about not wanting him to see anything of his memories. So he can't help being nervous a little. Kissing should mostly be fine, but even so. He just wants to reassure Vanitas, holding to the other's arm gently to try and ground and calm him.]
[ He's about ready to put his head in his hands and shoo Noé out of the bed when the vampire speaks. Oh. That...actually makes a lot of sense, and Vanitas still isn't comfortable with sharing his memories, even with things growing between them, even after all they've been through so far. That's a promise he made to Luna, to protect his memories, and it's one he's trying very hard to keep. He'd rather not go berserk on Noé again, either - or at least feel the urge to. Vanitas does appreciate the consideration, at least. The hand on his arm helps him think more rationally, too.
But. ]
I-I wasn't expecting reciprocity, okay? [ He really hadn't considered that the fangs would be an issue, but admitting this is getting him embarrassed all over again. ] Maybe I just felt like kissing my-
[ ...his what, exactly? Partner? He has no idea. ]
[He's. Trying to be cautious. To be mindful of respecting Vanitas' boundaries. It's just also sometimes a little confusing. But he's doing his best! He doesn't want to ruin anything. So his hand on the other's arm isn't holding tightly. Just loosely, that Vanitas could easily withdraw if he wanted.]
Your....? Oh. I just wasn't sure. With my fangs, how comfortable you'd be with it.
[He figures it's best in general to just. Let Vanitas take the lead. Take his cues from the other in what Vanitas might want. What he might be comfortable with. That seems like the safest option, really.]
[ He's being confusing, it's true. Probably because he doesn't really know what he's thinking, either. He's confusing himself more than anything else and he's getting himself in a tizzy. Noé's clarifying questions are enough to make him realize that he really, really needs to get it together, though.
So he hides his face in his hands, takes a deep breath. ]
Sorry. I've never been in this position before. [ One where his feelings were requited. One where there was something mutual and he felt okay with it. ] I couldn't help it. When I woke up and we were close, I thought about - kissing you, and I didn't know how to tell you, so I did it in a way that was easier, okay? That's all it is!
[ ... ]
But I'm not going to say no if you feel like trying it.
[ Ugh. Ughhh. Talking about feelings? Embarrassing. Humiliating. ]
It's okay. We can figure it out together. I haven't done all this before either.
[It's. Different. When it's actually put into practice? Even if one might have read about this sort of thing. Relationships. Or seen films or plays. He listens as Vanitas tries to explain, taking a moment to register what he is saying. That Vanitas was okay with them kissing? He swallows, a faint hint of an amused smile at his lips.]
I know. You're the one who asked me what love was, remember?
[ Funny, then, that they ended up here. He's not smooth at all when it comes to this stuff, it seems. He'll feel more comfortable down the line if things continue like this, but right now, he feels like a mess. ]
You don't? [ He says this like he's having trouble believing it, despite everything he's just said. ] I mean. I wouldn't have said it was okay if I didn't want to see what it'd be like.
[ ... ]
I-if we're careful enough, I don't think there'll be a problem.
[This just seems....different. From the times that he would curl up in bed with Louis and Domi. When she would be more affectionate with him. He just takes a moment, processing it all. Vanitas said he wouldn't mind. If they were to try. That it was alright. He purses his lips for a second, nodding in agreement. He just doesn't want to accidentally hurt the other. But maybe it might not be as much of an issue as he seems worried about. It isn't like he has had practice to be sure. How likely it might be to accidentally nick someone while kissing with his fangs.]
O-okay. Alright. If it's okay.
[He is still slow. Still cautious and tentative, as his hand raises slightly to Vanitas's shoulder gently. He leans in, still seeming to want to give Vanitas a chance to withdraw if he wishes. The brush of lips against Vanitas's is chaste and soft, possibly still tasting slightly of his beloved tarte tatin a little.]
[ A part of him can't help but wonder about the probability of Noé's fangs piercing him and how much that'd reveal. He once told Noé that he would let him have a drop, so this shouldn't be so bad - that's what he thinks, anyway.
He doesn't withdraw, even as Noé gets closer. If anything, Vanitas just prepares himself by closing his eyes and leaning in to meet the other halfway. The thought of something happening still makes him feel uneasy, but once Noé's lips touch his, those worries seem to dissipate. There's no pain, nothing to suggest that there's something to be concerned over. Only the slight taste of tarte tatin, which is almost as sweet as how careful Noé's being.
When it ends, Vanitas is no less red, and he looks away. ]
[He can't help being nervous. Cautious and tentative, at least initially. Maybe he might get more reassured, more relaxed about this as he gets more experience, but he's just trying to be mindful of Vanitas and his boundaries. Respecting that.
Which is why he barely parts his lips for the kiss. It's perhaps more akin to one from a child saying goodnight to their parents. But even that is something. More than he had done with anyone else. He's aware that the other has more experience in this, but he tries to see that as a positive. That it meant the other would have a better idea about what to do. The rules around this sort of thing. Since he was just going off the sort of thing he had seen when out and about, seeing couples together. When they pull back slightly, he opens his eyes again, looking to the other. He doesn't think he hurt Vanitas this time, at least?]
[ Given how gentle Noé was, all Vanitas could feel was their lips touching for a brief, fleeting moment. The kiss was very much like Noé, though, which made it more special despite Vanitas having more experience. He can appreciate that the vampire is just trying to be careful.
He finally meets Noé's gaze again; there's a pause. He'd like to try it one more time. Without saying a word, he leans in for another kiss. It's a just a tad firmer, like he's trying to see if he can afford to, and so far, the results are the same. ]
[He's relieved at that. Though he doesn't get much chance to really process more than that. Before Vanitas initiates another kiss. He blinks, but it's only for a second in his initial surprise before his eyes close. Before his head instinctively tilts slightly, his hand raises from the other's shoulder to Vanitas's cheek and hair. Maybe it might be a little awkward at first, but it was like anything else, right? Practice? At least, in theory. It isn't like they're in a major rush. So for now, he just tries to savor this. He's still a little hesitant to really part his lips, but that might come instinctively in time. When he might be more comfortable with this. Or just more caught in the moment to not be so in his head about it.]
[ For as eager as Vanitas can be - and Noé's seen it happen before, with Jeanne - he's in no rush right now. He's content, seems to relax when Noé runs a hand through his hair. This is comfortable. This feels like them, at the end of the day.
When he pulls away, he looks at his partner with rosy cheeks. ]
Still fine.
[ Noé may be inexperienced, but Vanitas figured it might be better that way. That way there's no rushing or carelessness that could lead to something undesirable happening. ]
Good. I was mostly just worried about hurting you. Well. That and that I'm still figuring this out.
[He's just kind of taking it slowly. Letting the other take the lead in whatever he feels comfortable with. It seems to have been working thus far, at least. He figures if the other thought he was doing that badly, Vanitas would have said something. Or shown him, maybe. So hopefully it wasn't too awful. Even if he is new at this. He wants to get it right. If there is anything he might be doing wrong. Or too hesitant about. Which is likely the case with his fangs.]
[ You and I both, he thinks. Sure, he's kissed someone and all, but Noé is the emotionally mature one and they're both figuring out romance. Hearing Noé's hesitation prompts Vanitas to reach up and gently place his index finger over the vampire's lips. ]
I know. [ He moves his hand away. ] It's alright, Noé. I don't fully understand what I should be doing, either.
[ And he means that. For every time Noé feels like he's misstepping, Vanitas probably feels that way towards himself - doubly so. ]
You said it earlier, right? That we'd figure this out together. I don't mind if it's with you. [ He looks away again and feels his cheeks start to burn a little. ] I just wanted to know if it was...bad.
[He blinks, his gaze searching as the other places a finger to his lips. Trying to focus. To listen. Vanitas might have more of an idea about this sort of thing, but it isn't like either of them has a lot of experience with relationships. He knows that. But -- right. They just had to figure it out together. He nods in understanding, when the other says they would work it out.]
It...no. It wasn't. I mean. I didn't think so. Not that I have anything to compare it with, but.
[It was nice? It hadn't been awful. Maybe not quite as passionate as some others, but this was tentative. The start of them figuring it out. Especially with regards to his fangs. So. It's fine? He tries to ignore the heat of his cheeks and nose as Vanitas tries to reassure him. Hoping what he said was alright.]
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[At least. To him. If Vanitas was having second thoughts, that was okay, too. But he was also the one to invite Noé in this instance. So he's just figuring to be sure if it was okay. What the boundaries might be. What they might be comfortable with or not. He glances back at his bed before turning back around.]
Pretty sure Murr's claimed it. But...thank you.
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[ He curls into Noé a little more before he lifts an arm and drapes it over the other man. Vanitas tugs him closer before he shuts his eyes, wanting to feel closer, not just for Noé's warmth but for his company. His presence calms him and sets a good precedence to take a nice, comfortable nap.
Wordlessly, he drifts off again. ]
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Sure enough, though, they're both still next to each other when he inevitably starts to open his eyes again...and he's welcomed with the sight of Noé's face right next to his. They're inches away and it would be so, so easy to steal a kiss right now, but that doesn't feel right. The urge to kiss Noé, period, however, starts to nag at Vanitas; as a result, he simply just leans forward to bump his forehead against Noé's instead. Now they're even closer. Welp.
He shuts his eyes and his cheeks turn a deep shade of red. ]
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...
[ He looks away. ]
W-what? I woke up and you - you were right here, just like this.
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[He should? Right? He doesn't mean to be that close? To make it awkward? The vampire swallows, trying to just stay still, even as Vanitas is evidently awake. Because he isn't sure how okay the other is with this. Even if they might be okay about dozing off to sleep next to each other. It's kind of another thing to wake up like this? Isn't it? He isn't sure. He doesn't mean for this to be anything more. Wants to be sure that the other is comfortable with whatever happens between them.]
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I...
[ For once, he doesn't know what to say. It takes him a moment to figure it out. ]
...No. Y-you can - stay there.
[ Ah. What a mess. He's still too nervous to say what he really wants, so he decides to settle on something somewhere in between. Vanitas recalls how this made him feel before, and his desire to make Noé happy creeps up on him, so he leans in and presses an unusually soft kiss to Noé's cheek. You'd think he'd be a lot more forward, given his everything, but this time, it's different. ]
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I ca -- ah?
[He's been less sure on kissing. Mostly because of the fangs. He didn't want to accidentally nick Vanitas and unintentionally end up seeing the other's memories. Vanitas had been very clear on his being against that. And he wants to respect that.]
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So, in typical Vanitas fashion, he panics. Just as he did in front of Roland and Olivier. ]
F-forget I did that! If you hated it, just forget it!
[ Always jumping to conclusions, Monsieur Vanitas. Always trying to protect himself and pick up the pieces of his fragile ego when it breaks. ]
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[With his fangs. Not that he would intentionally. But he didn't want something to happen by accident, either. He's had plenty of experience with feeding. But that was different. He didn't worry so much when Domi let him feed from her arm, for example. But Vanitas was mortal. And he had been very clear about not wanting him to see anything of his memories. So he can't help being nervous a little. Kissing should mostly be fine, but even so. He just wants to reassure Vanitas, holding to the other's arm gently to try and ground and calm him.]
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But. ]
I-I wasn't expecting reciprocity, okay? [ He really hadn't considered that the fangs would be an issue, but admitting this is getting him embarrassed all over again. ] Maybe I just felt like kissing my-
[ ...his what, exactly? Partner? He has no idea. ]
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[He's. Trying to be cautious. To be mindful of respecting Vanitas' boundaries. It's just also sometimes a little confusing. But he's doing his best! He doesn't want to ruin anything. So his hand on the other's arm isn't holding tightly. Just loosely, that Vanitas could easily withdraw if he wanted.]
Your....? Oh. I just wasn't sure. With my fangs, how comfortable you'd be with it.
[He figures it's best in general to just. Let Vanitas take the lead. Take his cues from the other in what Vanitas might want. What he might be comfortable with. That seems like the safest option, really.]
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[ He's being confusing, it's true. Probably because he doesn't really know what he's thinking, either. He's confusing himself more than anything else and he's getting himself in a tizzy. Noé's clarifying questions are enough to make him realize that he really, really needs to get it together, though.
So he hides his face in his hands, takes a deep breath. ]
Sorry. I've never been in this position before. [ One where his feelings were requited. One where there was something mutual and he felt okay with it. ] I couldn't help it. When I woke up and we were close, I thought about - kissing you, and I didn't know how to tell you, so I did it in a way that was easier, okay? That's all it is!
[ ... ]
But I'm not going to say no if you feel like trying it.
[ Ugh. Ughhh. Talking about feelings? Embarrassing. Humiliating. ]
There, happy?
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[It's. Different. When it's actually put into practice? Even if one might have read about this sort of thing. Relationships. Or seen films or plays. He listens as Vanitas tries to explain, taking a moment to register what he is saying. That Vanitas was okay with them kissing? He swallows, a faint hint of an amused smile at his lips.]
It's okay? I don't mind.
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[ Funny, then, that they ended up here. He's not smooth at all when it comes to this stuff, it seems. He'll feel more comfortable down the line if things continue like this, but right now, he feels like a mess. ]
You don't? [ He says this like he's having trouble believing it, despite everything he's just said. ] I mean. I wouldn't have said it was okay if I didn't want to see what it'd be like.
[ ... ]
I-if we're careful enough, I don't think there'll be a problem.
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[This just seems....different. From the times that he would curl up in bed with Louis and Domi. When she would be more affectionate with him. He just takes a moment, processing it all. Vanitas said he wouldn't mind. If they were to try. That it was alright. He purses his lips for a second, nodding in agreement. He just doesn't want to accidentally hurt the other. But maybe it might not be as much of an issue as he seems worried about. It isn't like he has had practice to be sure. How likely it might be to accidentally nick someone while kissing with his fangs.]
O-okay. Alright. If it's okay.
[He is still slow. Still cautious and tentative, as his hand raises slightly to Vanitas's shoulder gently. He leans in, still seeming to want to give Vanitas a chance to withdraw if he wishes. The brush of lips against Vanitas's is chaste and soft, possibly still tasting slightly of his beloved tarte tatin a little.]
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He doesn't withdraw, even as Noé gets closer. If anything, Vanitas just prepares himself by closing his eyes and leaning in to meet the other halfway. The thought of something happening still makes him feel uneasy, but once Noé's lips touch his, those worries seem to dissipate. There's no pain, nothing to suggest that there's something to be concerned over. Only the slight taste of tarte tatin, which is almost as sweet as how careful Noé's being.
When it ends, Vanitas is no less red, and he looks away. ]
Wasn't so bad, was it?
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Which is why he barely parts his lips for the kiss. It's perhaps more akin to one from a child saying goodnight to their parents. But even that is something. More than he had done with anyone else. He's aware that the other has more experience in this, but he tries to see that as a positive. That it meant the other would have a better idea about what to do. The rules around this sort of thing. Since he was just going off the sort of thing he had seen when out and about, seeing couples together. When they pull back slightly, he opens his eyes again, looking to the other. He doesn't think he hurt Vanitas this time, at least?]
Mm, no. That was okay. It didn't hurt you?
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[ Given how gentle Noé was, all Vanitas could feel was their lips touching for a brief, fleeting moment. The kiss was very much like Noé, though, which made it more special despite Vanitas having more experience. He can appreciate that the vampire is just trying to be careful.
He finally meets Noé's gaze again; there's a pause. He'd like to try it one more time. Without saying a word, he leans in for another kiss. It's a just a tad firmer, like he's trying to see if he can afford to, and so far, the results are the same. ]
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[He's relieved at that. Though he doesn't get much chance to really process more than that. Before Vanitas initiates another kiss. He blinks, but it's only for a second in his initial surprise before his eyes close. Before his head instinctively tilts slightly, his hand raises from the other's shoulder to Vanitas's cheek and hair. Maybe it might be a little awkward at first, but it was like anything else, right? Practice? At least, in theory. It isn't like they're in a major rush. So for now, he just tries to savor this. He's still a little hesitant to really part his lips, but that might come instinctively in time. When he might be more comfortable with this. Or just more caught in the moment to not be so in his head about it.]
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When he pulls away, he looks at his partner with rosy cheeks. ]
Still fine.
[ Noé may be inexperienced, but Vanitas figured it might be better that way. That way there's no rushing or carelessness that could lead to something undesirable happening. ]
...What did you think of it?
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[He's just kind of taking it slowly. Letting the other take the lead in whatever he feels comfortable with. It seems to have been working thus far, at least. He figures if the other thought he was doing that badly, Vanitas would have said something. Or shown him, maybe. So hopefully it wasn't too awful. Even if he is new at this. He wants to get it right. If there is anything he might be doing wrong. Or too hesitant about. Which is likely the case with his fangs.]
It....was okay? I mean. I haven't really....
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I know. [ He moves his hand away. ] It's alright, Noé. I don't fully understand what I should be doing, either.
[ And he means that. For every time Noé feels like he's misstepping, Vanitas probably feels that way towards himself - doubly so. ]
You said it earlier, right? That we'd figure this out together. I don't mind if it's with you. [ He looks away again and feels his cheeks start to burn a little. ] I just wanted to know if it was...bad.
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It...no. It wasn't. I mean. I didn't think so. Not that I have anything to compare it with, but.
[It was nice? It hadn't been awful. Maybe not quite as passionate as some others, but this was tentative. The start of them figuring it out. Especially with regards to his fangs. So. It's fine? He tries to ignore the heat of his cheeks and nose as Vanitas tries to reassure him. Hoping what he said was alright.]
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omg i replied to an old tag i forgot to delete OOPS
Derp happens to the best of us. It's fine lol.
<3 !
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